I was onto a different type of blogg, self centred crap ,when my thoughts fell onto a few very attractive women, separated, and back in the market. Same goes for men I would guess.
What they do wrong? First and foremost they have a really bad wing-girl to go out with and secondly they dont trust the dating web sites. Think that is all cross gender
Also women in their thirties tend to over compensate with make up and jewlry and clothes when going on the odd big night out as a separated parent. This scares off the easy going bachelors and the once bitten twice shy divorcees and leaves them with the chancers and the trophy hunters.
This last issue is not cross gender. Men can make themselves look foolish in fashion clothes and fake tan, but generally attract a different type of inappropriateness altogether.
There is an age perception thing here too: some men see themselves as shadows of them former selves and have some body confidence issues. Women have the same issue, but are perhaps more comfortable with going with older men, who are now suddenly a much older age than last time they were single. Men have a bigger issue with women and their sensible haircuts, small glasses and spare tyres when they are divorced and forty five.
Suddenly I know i felt surrounded by "ladies" some mumsie, some spinster, and no longer in with a mix of attractive young , girlish women. Separation now begs me to ask myself why I tried for five years to make it work when i should have been on the market. That would have been the wrong choice , ah, wouldnt it?
I guess the same is true of the "gorgeous pal, cant believe she's not got a new man". Bachelors are usually alone with good reason, divorced pappas are usually on the thick end of the middle age spread. Shark exes are out there of course with masculine bodies and a daring eye: the training fanatic , the body builder, the womaniser.
Back to the two big mistakes: a bad wing-'person'. Usually the attractive girl has one single still clubbing pal, who is an albatross round their neck for finding new men. Firstly they are usually over made up and basically not very attractive. Also even if they are pretty, they can give out the wrong signals , usually extremes of 'stay away from us', or 'I am desperate'. Also they may well be consumate at pulling men and one nightersx ,or whipping the prospect from under the feet of the lone, white or brown female they were wing pilot to. That is worse in men, especially with an attractivde married man on your starboard wing.
The issue is to stop going out with your millstone in hand, and all the randomness and low productivity of pub-club meets, and instead move over to the internet dating scene and all its randomness dressed up as matching and its counterproductivity. Seriously though, you can at least trawl in safety through avatars and profiles, while also being contacted by would be suitors in their droves if you live in a city. Easier to ignore and brush off than even a pub, and you can report them to the doorman on the web site too.
Personally girls, ladies rather, I dread the thought as much as going for a prostrate examination or to an aunty's funeral. However I know that it is the only reasonably effective way of getting to potential partners and also of learning to be single and sociable again.