You meet a girl, maybe a bit shy or sceptical type, and you get along like a house on fire. There is body Language, pheromones the lot......
Then she friend zones you.
Lets just be friends . Usually pre-emptive in fact, but can be as a result of you making a pass or lunging forward for a kiss at what seemed such a right moment.
Getting out of the friend zone? Simple, dont get into it in the first Place.
You can of course say yes to LJBF but dont what ever you do what I did recently, I continued to kind of date and get to know the very lovely Lassie it has to be said, and we got kind of addicted to each other a while.
She had put me in the FZ most likely because on the one hand she is highly neurotic, while on the other she was unsure about my situation and if I would get back together With my Ex. She refused not just once but twice to answer if she had had an affaire With a married man before, so there it was, she priobably got a guy on the hook, promised to leave, had left in a trial, shagged and then dumped her to og back to his ex. Hence the neurosis?
I was burried and With no way out, She even played my own Cards back at me in one bizarre Meeting over coffee when she reiterated LJBF, told me to find a girl somewhere , and told me she didnt like having outstanding favours which may be inviting payment 'in kind'.
I tried the best tactic With being LJBFed-. Limit Your availability and dont do the running., But PING after about five days she would get in touch, or we would bump into each other.
FZ is often a holding pen for a fussy or uncertain woman, but like cattle, if you dont go to market asap then you start to look less interesting, there all penned up and pawing at the ground. They have you where they want you, safely behind bars of FZ steel, but dont have you anywhere they need you if they want a romance.
Some few guys perisist the FZ, This is why ugly guys or mediocre guys sometimes have absolute babes as wives, because they just Charmed their way in and made the good lookers look like insencere bastards. But that is a hiding to nothing really, it is desperation and after a few months of being there I was ready to cut my losses and throw a Direct I love you at her.
Avoiding can , as I have blogged before, mean just saying NO, i would like to date you and get to know you in a romantic way. You can qaulify, as in, do you have a BF already? Do you want to take time to get to know me a little and see what happens? Or of course, do you not find me attractive at all then?
Avoiding FZ can also mean saying YES. You just walk away and leave the contact making up to the girl, Furthermore cancel a few arrangements you make With them. Get a tinder date and go out locally where People know you both.
Make yourself only partially available and in chatting on line, move the conversation in two ways. One helping you get a girl or With girl issues, and two, towards opportunities for decent amounts of alcohol and partying where you can overxome the Natural nerves she has, or if you make a pass you can laugh it off as being the drink talking.
I even tried this, and got what was like a first date, but it was odd and kind of friendly and a little forced and false feeling to some extent, She seemed tired and a little disinterested. It built my hopes up, after four months of FZ, and I took it as the first date With a hug good by, But it was a little payback for being her pal and helping her out, that was maybe all, given the Cold light of day. Then there was a dinner invite which I kind of maybe pushed a little too much for, and it was cancelled and that is when the turning point came, She didnt want what they Call progression,
I stumbled on and I dont know, she got in touch With me and had ten questions so I suggested coffee and it was Nice, but then she pushed me away a little more With a bit of New boundary setting and I kind of reaxted against it.
I had been in the holding pen long enough, She was bored With me rustling aournd in there pawing at the ground and giving her the eyes and smiles of BUY ME PLEASE; MAKE a BID! she wanted me out of her sight.
I duly learnt my lesson., Circumstances were odd though. Neighbourhood to the Family home i was moving out of. Saw her all the time, Knew her a bit over several years., Once bitten, twice shy of the dreaded FZ.
