Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Everybody's Dave

I wonder if we all, men that is actuall come to
think of it, have a dave in life?  Or have had a dave?

My dave was the perfect example. He promised very much by way of his way of appearing. A wild hippy type, wannabe surfer like me, a better sailor than me and into mountainn biking and the odd hill top bebooted tour.

Unlike me he had been running away from commitment and economic reality for a few years.

So i fell into the tar pit because when you are the edge you run the wrong way because the wide world for a 22 year old ouit of uni suddenly becomes a scary, square, dreary place compared to the delights of the ivory tower. It is like you step backwards, and in had put myself on the edge anyway by moving home.

I dug myself out while he seemed to drive onwards with a never ending quest for the rad from a musty bedroom above his grannys end of the house.

I think i got labelled as Dave part Ii, minidave, the disciple, neigh,  the klingon. Seeking rad. Wasting money. Most of all wasting time.

I let my chin go under and breathed in the bitumen of wishing and only half doing. Aspiring more and more in the asphixia of the middle class home boy wombs. Acheiving less of my aspiritation in a self imposed mind glue I only now know was chronic understimulation.

Suddenly s if on a huge gas bubble i arose out into a suit and tie and flashy car in the brisk air and startling daylight of Aberdeenshire of all places. My dads own feitherlant. In a job completely innapprporiate for my as yet protopersonality and ersatz ego.

So i was born again of my autofatherhood as a misfoster and really i lived the life for many years unril it wore me out.

But back to dave.

Dave also evolved in an economic way after a while. But in that time he got worse and onto prozac and went a bit mad. He once threatend to kill me, but by then i had realised he was a stone around my neck and proabbly he felt that two.

The positive energy i believed he gave me was actually a merry-go-round lsd trip of illusion and mistake.

Eventually i grew out of dave and felt myself as a proper grown up to his own view of actually very conformist to a supposedly alternative lifestyle.

One day i realised i had grown out of all my best friends or they had to my chagrin, grown out of me.

There are daves in all our lives, and a dave in us all.

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